Getting the Most Out of Mediation: Introverts, Extroverts and Using Your Personality Type to Your Advantage

Knowing about your personal negotiation and communication styles, and learning how to best utilize them, is an important part of getting the most out of mediation as an advocate or a party.  A great example of this is learning about where you fall on the introversion – extroversion scale, and figuring out how to best utilize this for a successful mediation.

Coined by Carl Jung, the terms “extrovert” and “introvert” refer to an individual’s personality preference.  While they are often reduced to the stereotypes like “extroverts are gregarious,” and “introverts are shy,” the reality is more complicated.  

The most useful definition I have come across is that the terms refer to how an individual draws energy and processes information.  For example, let’s say you just left a wonderful party with many people whose company you enjoy.  Afterwards, if you find yourself needing quiet time to regroup, rest and process by yourself, you are probably an introvert.  On the other hand, if you find yourself feeling energized and excited by all the great social interactions you just had, you are probably an extrovert.

In terms of processing information, if you prefer to think things through on your own before discussing, or need some time to process new information on your own, you probably tend towards introversion.  If you prefer to talk things out, and process new information quickly and out loud with others, you are likely more of an extrovert.

There are many tests available online to tell you where you fall on the extrovert – introvert scale, including this excellent one on the Quiet Revolution website.  Take a few minutes to see where you fall.  Knowing your tendencies towards introversion or extroversion can help you make the most out of the mediation process.

As a mediator, I have seen the different ways introverts and extroverts engage with the process, and each personality type has ways to utilize their introversion or extroversion to make the mediation process work best for them.

Introverts tend to come to mediations quite well prepared; they have a key handle on the facts and are able to present their position well from the outset.  The introvert’s preparation is a great asset to helping them find a workable resolution.  Further, introverts tend to be more comfortable with silence, and as such, do not get thrown by the sometimes seemingly slow pace of mediation.

Extroverts tend to be natural problem solvers.  They think quickly on their feet, and are good at synthesizing new information quickly.  This is a great asset in helping extroverts to quickly and creatively propose possible solutions in order to try to move the mediation through any potential impasse.

Some of my most successful mediations have occurred because of the balance between the extroverts and introverts in the room.  Both introverts and extroverts have qualities that benefit them in the mediation process, and knowing where you fall on the scale can help you better utilize the mediation process.  

For example, because introverts know they will need more time to integrate new information or to assess new proposals, they can better prepare themselves by coming in to the mediation with a good sense of what information they need to know, and ask direct questions of the other party and mediator before going off on their own to process.  Similarly, extroverts can better utilize their quick thinking by coming prepared to listen carefully to the other side, and then using all the information possible to think through problems in dialogue with the other party and the mediator in order to come up with new solutions.  

Being aware of your personal preferences and knowing how you work best will help inform the ways in which you approach a mediation in order to ensure the greatest success.  Whether you come to the settlement table as an extrovert or introvert, you can use your unique skills to get the most out of mediation.

Developing, Maintaining and Restoring Trust in the Workplace: Part 2

 

Last week we took a look at the importance of establishing, maintaining and repairing trust in the workplace.  Trust is essential to creating a high functioning workplace culture, and where trust has broken down, conflicts thrive.  Using Dr. Brene Brown’s acronym of BRAVING, we looked at the different elements of trust and how each can be applied to work environments.  Having considered the importance of Boundaries, Reliability and Accountability, let’s continue to look at the remaining elements and how they can be utilized to support trust in the workplace

V – Vault

A key element of establishing trust in a workplace relationship is knowing that sensitive or confidential information will be respected and only shared when necessary and appropriate; in other words, if I share something sensitive with you that I don’t want getting out into the general public, I know that you will honor that and keep it in the vault.  This ensures a necessary free flow of information and feedback between employees and managers, and helps make sure that everyone can focus on the relevant information to get the job done.  Another key aspect of the Vault is that respecting confidences prevents toxic and unnecessary office gossip.  While I’ve previously discussed the potential of utilizing employee dissatisfaction as a tool for improvement, checking to see whether something belongs in the vault before sharing it with coworkers can prevent gossip from taking over the workplace and spreading needless conflict and discord.

I – Integrity

Organizations spend a lot of resources trying to establish a clear mission and set of goals.  Yet, unless everyone in the organization is encouraged and acknowledged for acting in accordance with and in furtherance of the mission, all those pretty words on the corporate charter are meaningless.  This is the essence of integrity: putting your values into practice.  As Dr. Brown acknowledges, this often means choosing what is right over what is easy.  When employees in a company act with integrity, organizational goals are supported and a culture of consistency is established.  Everyone can agree on the mission, and everyone understands what their role is in supporting the organization’s goals.  This builds trust while increasing productivity and workplace functionality.  It also does not hurt with boosting employee engagement.

N – Non-Judgement

In workplaces where trust is intact, employees feel safe to ask for support and guidance while trying new and innovative ways to get the job done.  This safety can only be established is people know they will not be judged for raising concerns and asking for help in the workplace.  If people feel they will be criticized or demeaned for asking for help, or they worry that this will bite them later during performance reviews, this leads to people shutting down.  As a result, mistakes get made, productivity plummets and conflicts thrive.  In my mediations, I repeatedly see conflicts that could have been avoided if the parties had just talked openly with one another in order to acknowledge and address the problems at hand – before erupting into a formal charge of discrimination, or worse, a full-fledged lawsuit.  This can only happen where employees know they can engage with each other without fear of judgment, criticism or belittling.  Where there is non-judgment, there is creative problem solving, innovation and successful workplaces.

G – Generosity

The power of each of us to choose to make a generous assumption about the person we are dealing with is one of my absolute favorite tools for dealing with conflict.  Not only can it help you deal with stressful interpersonal relationships, but in the workplace, challenging yourself to make a generous assumption about the coworker you are dealing with will help you keep your cool as you navigate difficult situations to better manage conflict.  If you always choose to assume that your boss is coming at you with criticism, then conflict will appear at every interaction.  But if you can challenge that assumption and make the most generous assumption about your boss’ intentions (i.e., her brusque tone is a reflection about her concern about the project, not a reflection of how little she respects me), you will develop a superpower in handling difficult people.  And over time, choosing to make the generous choice forces us to broaden our understanding of each other in ways that increase empathy, build trust and reduce conflict.

Establishing, maintaining and rebuilding trust when it has been broken may not always be easy, but it essential for establishing productive workplace cultures and reducing conflict in the workplace.  As Dr. Brown’s BRAVING acronym shows us, there are tools we can turn to in order to see where trust can be improved in the workplace, and also better understand the role that trust breakdown plays in workplace conflicts.  By braving connection in our work environments, we can actively work to build trust and create workplaces where everyone thrives.