Knowing about your personal negotiation and communication
styles, and learning how to best utilize them, is an important part of getting
the most out of mediation as an advocate or a party. A great example of this is learning about
where you fall on the introversion – extroversion scale, and figuring out how
to best utilize this for a successful mediation.
Coined by Carl Jung, the terms “extrovert” and “introvert”
refer to an individual’s personality preference. While they are often reduced to the
stereotypes like “extroverts are gregarious,” and “introverts are shy,” the
reality is more complicated.
The most useful definition I have come across is that the
terms refer to how an individual draws energy and processes information. For example, let’s say you just left a wonderful
party with many people whose company you enjoy.
Afterwards, if you find yourself needing quiet time to regroup, rest and
process by yourself, you are probably an introvert. On the other hand, if you find yourself
feeling energized and excited by all the great social interactions you just had,
you are probably an extrovert.
In terms of processing information, if you prefer to think
things through on your own before discussing, or need some time to process new
information on your own, you probably tend towards introversion. If you prefer to talk things out, and process
new information quickly and out loud with others, you are likely more of an
extrovert.
There are many tests available online to tell you where you
fall on the extrovert – introvert scale, including this excellent one on the Quiet Revolution website. Take a few
minutes to see where you fall. Knowing
your tendencies towards introversion or extroversion can help you make the most
out of the mediation process.
As a mediator, I have seen the different ways introverts and
extroverts engage with the process, and each personality type has ways to
utilize their introversion or extroversion to make the mediation process work
best for them.
Introverts tend to come to mediations quite well prepared;
they have a key handle on the facts and are able to present their position well
from the outset. The introvert’s
preparation is a great asset to helping them find a workable resolution. Further, introverts tend to be more comfortable
with silence, and as such, do not get thrown by the sometimes seemingly slow
pace of mediation.
Extroverts tend to be natural problem solvers. They think quickly on their feet, and are
good at synthesizing new information quickly.
This is a great asset in helping extroverts to quickly and creatively
propose possible solutions in order to try to move the mediation through any
potential impasse.
Some of my most successful mediations have occurred because
of the balance between the extroverts and introverts in the room. Both introverts and extroverts have qualities
that benefit them in the mediation process, and knowing where you fall on the
scale can help you better utilize the mediation process.
For example, because introverts know they will need more
time to integrate new information or to assess new proposals, they can better
prepare themselves by coming in to the mediation with a good sense of what
information they need to know, and ask direct questions of the other party and
mediator before going off on their own to process. Similarly, extroverts can better utilize
their quick thinking by coming prepared to listen carefully to the other side,
and then using all the information possible to think through problems in
dialogue with the other party and the mediator in order to come up with new
solutions.
Being aware of your personal preferences and knowing how you
work best will help inform the ways in which you approach a mediation in order
to ensure the greatest success. Whether
you come to the settlement table as an extrovert or introvert, you can use your
unique skills to get the most out of mediation.
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